The Black Cauldron

In the 1980s, the Disney Animation Studio was having a bit of a tough time. They didn’t have many big hits like they did in the 40s and 50s and their President, Ron Miller, wasn’t very well liked by employees. It probably didn’t help that he married Disney’s only daughter. He was ousted from his position and replaced with Michael Eisner in 1984. Why is this important in a blog reviewing the animated films? Well, the first film he had control over as CEO was The Black Cauldron. Based off the first two books of Lloyd Alexander’s The Chronicles of Prydain, Eisner didn’t like the direction the film was going and stepped into perform some executive meddling. And became not only Disney’s most forgotten film, but one of their biggest failures. It nearly drove the animation studio out of business. It was the first Disney movie to warrant a PG rating, have no singing, and make use of CGI. Sierra also made it into a computer game and it was the inspiration for the Spyro the Dragon reboot in 2006. Make of that what you will.

Anyway, film tells the story of Taran (Grant Bardsley), an assistant pig keeper who wants to be a great warrior. He’s charged with hiding Hen Wen, a pig who has the power to tell the future. But the Horned King (John Hurt) wants her so she can uncover the location of the Black Cauldron so he can bring to live an army of undead warriors to conquer the world.

Along the way, he meets, the cowardly glutton Gurgi (John Byner), Princess Eilonwy (Susan Sheridan), and the minstrel Fflewddur Fflam (Nigel Hawthorne).

From my past reviews, you would probably be surprised to know that I quite enjoy dark works that fall heavily onto the cynical side of the scale. So, know I really mean it when I say I so desperately wanted to like this movie. But, aside from the wonderful animation, there is nothing in this movie worth praising. Note, I had to read a few synopses of the actual books to do this review.

First off, Disney acquired the rights to all five books. So why start smack-dab in the second one and have some of the first? The first book as a whole better establishes Eilonwy’s royalty. In this film, you don’t see her kingdom and she doesn’t do anything that would that would make you even remotely think, “Yeah, she’s a princess.” At least start off with “The Book of Three” and have them come across her destroyed castle! Taran is also one of the whiniest characters I have ever seen in fiction. And I’ve watched the Star Wars prequels multiple times. He won’t shut up nor will he get over himself. In fact, his hubris is basically the reason Hen Wen runs off and is found by the Horned King. And the end of the film has him finishing character development where he realizes he’ll never be a great warrior. Someone tell the books, where he becomes high king in the final novel.

Then there’s Gurgi, who could possibly overtake Jar Jar Binks for most annoying fictional character. This guy could have been so much more. His Wikipedia character description in the books reads that he’s a “cross between man and beast, having long arms, covered with fur and leaves and ever hungry but really just a sort of a kind of a thing.” In the movie? He’s a short puffball with an annoying voice.

The classic Disney villains who are able to pull off disturbingly terrifying  and threatening attributes are also able to be grandiose, and have some sort of charm and amicability (or at least attempt to do so), like Maleficent, Medusa, and Cruella. The Horned King does none of that. There’s nothing that adds to his villainy to make him an interesting villain. At least Tremain was a complete sociopath and the queen from Snow White had vanity to explain why she was evil. He also really doesn’t DO anything other than send his lackeys out. And when he finally starts to get involved, he immediately loses. Funny thing that he’s billed as an incredibly powerful sorcerer. I read somewhere that he’s on the short list to get an appearance in Kingdom Hearts III. I hope not.

There’s also quite a few coincidences and plot holes. Why do the witches have the cauldron in the first place? Why do the heroes just happen across the one group of people that knows where the witches are? Why does the cauldron kill the person who freely enters it? (It’s implied it’s just that evil, but that’s lazy writing).

This movie could have been so much better had Disney decided to make a film based on The Book of Three first and then gone into The Black Cauldron instead of having most of the latter and throwing in some of the former. Better yet, this should have been a live action Touchstone film. 

Final Call: Terrible on every account. Better than Victory Through Air Power, but that’s not saying much. #31.