Tarzan & Jane

Summer 2002 saw the first sequel to Tarzan, set one year after the events of the film. Tarzan & Jane uses the last three episodes of the television series and stars Michael T. Weiss, Olivia d’Abo, Jeff Bennett, Jim Cummings, Grey DeLisle, Kevin Michael Richardson, Tara Strong, April Winchell, and Nicollette Sheridan.

Framed by Tarzan and Jane’s first anniversary, she wants to find a suitable present and gets the help of Tantor and Terk. However, they remind her of the disasters that occurred the last time Tarzan was exposed a party, gifts or dancing.

I enjoyed this, thinking it was a pilot film for the series, sort of like how Return of Jafar was to Aladdin. But then, I found out the episodes actually did air and were the last three. So this pretty much falls squarely in how I feel about things that have been repackaged.

It was good, which speaks to how good the television series is. But if they wanted to put episodes of the series on a movie, they could have just released the seasons. This is, again, a cash grab to kids that wouldn’t notice they’re watching something they already did.

I’m not putting this past the Edge of Dissatisfaction, considering it was pretty good, but the rehash of it put it pretty far down.

#64

The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea

The Sequel Machine, er… I mean Disney… released The Little Mermaid II in 2000, taking place a decade after the original film. Focusing on her daughter, the film stars all the original voices, plus Tara Strong, Stephen Furst, and… Clancy Brown? The film has largely been panned by critics is considered one of Disney’s worst sequels.

Ariel’s (Jodi Benson) daughter, Melody (Strong), is presented to King Triton (Kenneth Mars). But Ursula’s crazy sister, Morgana (Pat Carroll), shows up and tries to take her hostage for the trident. Ariel then decides to hide Melody from her heritage.

She soon finds the evidence though and goes to Morgana to find out about herself.

In other words, it’s the exact same plot as the original, only flipped. Combine that with mediocre animation and subpar songs, it’s a terrible film that not only doesn’t deserve to exist, but could only be described as badly written fan fiction.

And when I say it’s the same plot, I mean exactly that. Melody has a passionate interest in the sea, but her mother fears for her safety and forbids her from going out in the water. Morgana makes her into a mermaid and she has a limited amount of time to accomplish a task before she can be one permanently. Are we trying to make a point about the apple not falling far from the tree or one about sins of the mother here?

The two new sidekicks, Tip and Dash, are just annoying as well. There’s no redeeming qualities about them and they serve no other purpose than to bumble around and inadvertently save the day.

This just takes the magic of the original film and its legacy and takes a massive crap on it. And they eventually thought it was a good idea to make a prequel…

#66