Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Everyone’s favorite mutant reptiles cut their way back onto the silver screen for a 2014 reboot last weekend. Directed by Jonathan Liebesman and produced by Michael Bay and Nickelodeon Movies, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles starred Megan Fox, Alan Ritchson, Jeremy Howard, Pete Ploszek, Noel Fisher, Will Arnett, Danny Woodburn, William Fichtner, Johnny Knoxville and Tony Shalhoub.

A mysterious organization called the Foot Clan is terrorizing New York, headed by the evil Shredder (Tohoru Masamune). April O’Neil (Fox), reporter for Channel 6 news, has been following them trying to get a scoop and stumbles onto a robbery, noticing a vigilante foiling the deed. Looking for the hero, she finds four life size turtles (Ploszek/Knoxville, Fisher, Howard, Ritchson), proficient in ninjitsu working to bring down the Foot.

Rebooting a franchise like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles seems like a good idea in theory, but only when it’s done well. Unfortunately, it wasn’t and Michael Bay’s fingerprints are all over this film. It suffers from a lack of focus as well as disrespect to the source material. And while some of the action and humorous moments are pretty good, it feels like a bombardment done in hopes to see if something sticks.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' biggest flaw is in its focus and how seriously it takes itself. It starts off taking itself incredibly seriously with O’Neil trying to hunt down an untapped scoop on the Foot Clan, but in her quest to find the vigilante, the film seems to grow self-aware and realizes just how insane the idea of fully grown turtles that can talk and perform martial arts is. But right after she meets them for the first time, the film drives back into high gear and starts taking itself seriously again, possibly out of fear that no one would respect it. This happens at least two or three times during the film, always taking itself too seriously when O’Neil is at the center of attention and doesn’t when the turtles are. A film needs to have a focus and decide whether or not to take its tone seriously no matter who’s on screen.

The film also seems to have little to no respect to its source material. The Foot Clan is the biggest offender. In the original comics, original films and for most of the franchises multiple television series, the Foot Clan are a gang of ninjas, using martial arts to do its dirty work. The Asian aspect of the group never felt left out. In this film, they seem to be more like a generic terrorist organization with heavy weaponry and explosives. The group’s backstory, its members and Shredder were Asian, but felt more like an afterthought than anything. Also, Shredder’s armor seems like it had a few too many tweaks. It went from a clawed suit of armor based on that of the samurai to a battlesuit with projectile knives that can also fly back after impact.  

However, the film does have some good moments in some of the action and humor. The scene when O’Neil rescues three of the turtles from getting their blood drained is the best mix of the two. The reaction to an adrenaline overdose, making them extremely hyperactive is pretty funny, which is followed by a chase down a snowy mountain in a semi. All four turtles are given the chance to shine and shows what they’re truly capable of. If the entire film took that tone and mixture of action and humor and kept it steady throughout the movie, then it would have been a great attempt at rebooting the franchise.

With its near oversaturation of action and humor, the kids will enjoy the film and it’ll keep the adults from zoning out. But everyone else that has fond memories of the dark tone of the comics or the lighthearted comedic atmosphere of the films from the 1990s will probably want to skip it. 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles falls below the Edge of Dissatisfaction and comes in at the new #7